놓치지 않는 사람

imma let you finish, but

Those close to me know how much of a people person I am.

So naturally, one of the most exciting parts of college was getting away from my homogenous Korean upbringing. Late-night discussions on social conservatism, race relations, all with the back-drop of Duke’s social scene which gets an inappropriate share of media attention — all of it helped me grow tremendously. It also fed my eagerness to meet and learn from all sorts of people. 

So again, it’s only natural that the late series of events has me thinking and feeling frustrated.

This is an open letter to you, my California Asians. 

We’re a special breed. We grow up in one of the most beautiful areas of the world. Perfect weather, wealth, great schools, and perhaps most importantly - huge Asian communities. 

Lately I keep finding myself in situations where I am embarrassed being a subset of this unique set of ethnic and cultural group.

Seriously, why are we so small-minded?

Why are we scared of exploring outside of California? When you say that you’ve visited New York, and that it’s “awesome, but nowhere close to being as sweet as California”- are you basing that off of your whimsical weekend trip back in college hanging out in Times Square? Let’s admit that we feel comfortable being back closer to our roots, families, and being surrounded by those who look and act like us.

Why do you ask me if I “need to be saved,” when you find me hanging out with a boy that’s not Asian or Caucasian? (Why white boys always get a pass at everything, baffles me to no end) I appreciate your genuine “concern,” but honestly? Your visceral reactions at a sight not familiar to you only make ME feel concerned for you, you know, out there in the real world outside of California.

I really think that as minorities we feel almost entitled to make the most outlandish racist comments. 

And sure, it’s a preference thing. I get that. It’s comfortable when all of your friends speak the same language, have similar family values and traditions, past experiences. It’s easy. I fall privy to it when I’m here, because the sheer size of my Asian network is ridiculous. But don’t you feel at least a little bit curious about what else is out there?

An article on interaction between intelligence, conservatism, and racist views provoked my thoughts further. Perhaps this is why my sister educates me on acronyms like QAG (Quiet Asian Girl) and complains that she’s finding less scope and depth in conversations she has with friends who hold racist/conservative views.

Well, if you get down to it, I am just getting defensive.

I don’t like the judgmental looks I receive as I roll around town with groups of people who don’t look like me. Nor the snide comments like “Oh, so you’re into [insert ethnic group here] guys,” as though not dating a Korean man has become a universal sin. This kind of inner-group racism feels way more hateful and ignorant to me than the ridiculous comments I’ve received all across the Southern states for being Asian.

Please people, crawl out from under your rock. Or if you’re going to be stubborn in your views and preferences, at least be pleasant in agreeing to disagree with me. I am not going to worship the silly “All-That-Is-Asian-Is-Best” pedestal that you’ve placed yourself on.

At least this dramatic post pays homage to me being Korean. Right?